Early In The Morning.. Late At Night... (CH.11 Ultimate God)

I heard about this guy that was so kind your heart would sing when he spoke to you.  In his eyes you always see your beauty.  If you could hear love it would sound like the tone of his voice when he speaks of you.  His anger manifests love, because he is love completely/perfectly.  When he touches your face all impurities pull to the top of your being screaming to be gone.  Purity strives violently to be in his presence... Peace makes it's home in his words.  Joy rest in his smile.  This guy should be my best friend. That’s what I need… A best friend... 

A lover.

A lover? Yes, a lover… someone that loves me wholly, purely, respectfully, and unconditionally.  A lover that gives a love that reaches past my physical being and knows my inner most being.  I need a friend that longs for me to tell him my dreams… my desires.  That is thrilled about sharing my desires and burdens.   I need a friend that replaces my empty desires with longings that stand the test of time.  I need a lover that loves me enough to want the best for me even when I do not want it for my self.  I need someone who is willing to sacrifice everything just to be in my presence.  I need a lover that fears nothing, yet is willing to weep with me when I am broken. A friend who’s love is so pure and intimate that I can call him

both lover and daddy.  

                                                       …A friend that will never leave me

                                                       …A lover that will never forsake me

He asked me…  “Who do you say that I am?”  “Lord, you are the Christ, the one that God has sent to save the world.  You are, HE, the one that was there in the beginning… The one who formed me… The one that has known me before I was formed…  You are the one that intricately wrote out my days before me.  The one who walks before me and sets my path.  You are the one that orchestrates my life….  I know that you are my savior.  I know that you are God.  I know this not because someone told me.  I know this not because I read it in a book that many believe to be absolute truth… I know this not because my parents taught me who you are… I know this not because my friends know this and I believe them..

I know this because….When I needed a lover you introduced me to a love that loves me wholly, purely, respectfully, and unconditionally.  You reached past my physical being and awakened my inner most being. I know this because you waited patiently through a line of people in my life for your turn to be my captivated audience (of ONE). Just so you may listen to me tell you of my heart, my will, my opinions, my desires, my emotions… You have listened to my soul, smiling all the while knowing that as great as “my desires” sounded to myself… The burdens of my own will would lead me in cycles of temporaries and insanities.   You my friend have replaced my empty desires with longings that are eternal.  You my lover have displayed the purest love by never rejoicing in my unrighteousness, but dancing around me joyfully with truth as your confidant.  I know who you are because you sacrificed everything to spend these moments here with me now.  You sacrificed everything so that you may walk with me and so I may walk with you in the coolness of the day.  I know you, my lover, because you showed me how to take courage and be strong and do all things through your strength, and still when I was scared and broken and weeping… you swooped down and wept also… allowing yourself to endure all things that I grasped before you.  You, my closest friend, cleaned my most intimate places.  You endured my fornications.  You forgave my separations.  You redeemed my supplications.  You my lover paid for me completely.  You have walked with me from the beginning and I didn’t even know.  Unconditionally… meaning NO MATTER WHAT CONDITION I CHOSE FOR MYSELF… You loved me.  I know you because you have shown me a love that is both intimate of that from a lover yet purer of that from a father loving his first-born. 

I know this because… Jesus, you have been the friend that has never left me.

You have been the lover that has never forsaken me.

I know you and I love you because you first loved me… truly. khristen